The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
