yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
