Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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