All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
