Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
