and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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