i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
