i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
