i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
