What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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