Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
