Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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