You really coming over, don't trick.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
