So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Ladies don't puke and tell
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
