carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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