was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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