What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
