I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
