? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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