hell yes lets make some ravioli
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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