just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize