this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
