His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
