Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
