craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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