take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
