hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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