they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
