And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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