I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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