Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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