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I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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