Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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