someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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