I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize