You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize