quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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