STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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