the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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