that's an acceptable place to lick
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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