Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
