Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
two words...techno handjob
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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