i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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