This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
