I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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