Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize