Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize