3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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