I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
