Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
