He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
