Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
