I am puke
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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