I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
