Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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