i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
