I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
be right there i have to get my cape
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
