hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
