ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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