Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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