do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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