yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
