Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
well you can't waste a boner
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
